Thankfuls

I don't usually do the "I am thankful for..." thing on social media or blogging, not unless I think of something outrageously funny to say about it. My MO is to try to be thankful to those around me as much and often as possible, rather than save it up for one day a year. As it turns out on this wondrous morning I have decided to go outside my shell a bit. I would like to admit to "out there" what I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my family. Everyone of them. The ones I see everyday and the ones I have only met once in my life or even just heard of, thank you. I am thankful for the family that I have chosen myself, those of you not of blood, in my heart you are family; you are an army of few but those of you I have chosen I have chosen because I need you; in your capacity and style, I need that quality I may lack or not understand, and you posses it, thank you. It's all of YOU who make me who I am today. You give me ideas and show me love, you let me love you and you tell me what you think. I think of myself as a diamond in the rough, but as I mature, I find I have many more facets than I had started out with. This is due to family.

I am thankful for my friends. My friends are the people I try my best to take them aside and show them compassion and hope. I always try my best to leave a positive word or just let you know that I listen to you. I may not hang out with you and run in your circles, but as often as I can, try to help you. I am thankful that I can make a person smile or give them a positive spin on a crazy bad day.

I am thankful for Nature. Many things that drive me is due to this whole wide world I live in. I take walks in the fall to smell the cottonwood leaves as they lay strew about the ground. I love the colors of the the sky from dawn to midday to dusk, even the color of space at night, I love it. I am thankful for the many creatures of the earth, such as the chickadees that eat at my bird feeder, or the Stellar Jay who cleans up the mess that has been tossed down to my yard. I am thankful for the lanky bovine that keep the tourist all in a twitter when they see them munching on branches and trees around town. I am thankful for the seasons of the year and what each of their jobs do for my surroundings.

I am thankful for the past-times I enjoy, to an obsessiveness. I could go on and on about softball and maybe even tell you things you never knew. Or I could enjoy a rousing fantasy based game because I enjoy the idea of of wielding swords or casting spells. I love, love, LOVE the Internet. From message boards of old to conversations done in real time with web cams in this fantastic day and age. It makes a lot possible that was only a dream when I was a child. I love writing, and blogging, both of which are pretty much connected completely to the Internet but I save my stories for myself to read when I want. I love music. Sometimes I have a song running in background in my head. It does not always fit things that are going on around me, but when I pick a song to play over and over it is there to give me a little bit of inner joy I don't have to share with anyone else.

I am thankful for me. This is not something I always tell myself, but once in a while I pour on the positive affirmations and just let'er rip, like now. I love how I think and process things. For me it's the journey of how I get to the conclusion, what I do to make the dots connect, not the end result. I love how I thirst for knowledge and do my best to feed it. I do act like a spoiled Now Generation kid when it comes to my questions demanding answers, but I know that I have other questions in the wings and I need to make room for them, lest they get bored and leave. I am thankful for how hard I try to love myself. It is a very tough job and I know I have failures and shortcomings regarding how I treat myself, but I work hard at trekking on. If I do well, I look back and give myself a quiet and short pat on the back.

One thing I may be most thankful for is my capacity to love. I wasn't going to write this or try to figure it out, but I find it is something that I want to try to express. I love as hard as I can, without conviction. I get hurt often, something I truly dislike. But I won't stop loving for fear of being hurt. I am thankful for that. It helps me try to understand others. It helps me try to see into their dark corners and just love them for who they are. They may not understand, or want my love, or even find it unacceptable but I am okay with that. I am thankful I can do something such as love with every fiber of my being and be satisfied that is all I want to do.